3298 - Day 17, July 5: Astoria, OR to Portland, OR +117 = 3415
Final Night Skit
Carol P. and Jean C. put together one of the finest final evening skits I've seen in the 16 years I've been doing this trip. In the beginning I tell the group I don't want to just observe Lewis and Clark, but I want us to become the Lewis and Clark expedition. We do this by keeping and giving reports on our daily activities, acting in skits, giving out beads, blowing a horn (as they did) when it is time to return to the bus, and relating everything we do to the expedition.
This year it succeeded far beyond expectations and at the final dinner Carol P. and Jean C. presented the finest evening of entertainment in my 16 years of the trip. They didn't just write a script, but gathered a bunch of cartoons, printed them out and assigned them to various actors. Some people didn't even know they would be appearing. Just as on the tour, everyone participated and it was a wonderful experience.
Corps of Discovery
2016 Meets Corps of Discovery 1803
let their mission fail,
Lewis & Clark enter the room in military march. Hup 2 ,3 ,4 Hup 2, 3, 4
Carol gets Seaman (who howls in agony)
Clark: Oh forget that dog and his M-U-S-C-H-I-E-T-O-W-S! Here we are at the Pacific Ocean on November 24th and we don’t have a place to stay for the winter. What are we gonna do?
Lewis: Let’s let the entire Corps of Discovery consult on the best location.
Clark: Everybody? Even York?
pull York out of audience
Clark: What about Sacajewea?
Lewis: Yes her too!
Clark: She’s a woman, you know.
Lewis: Its time a woman got the right to vote!
pull Sacajawea out of the audience
Pomp: cries Mommy! Mommy!
put Pomp’s sign on
Clark: All right then, the rest of you men get up here.
get Cruzatte and Charbonneau, names and bring them up
Clark: OK, corps. What do you guys have to say for yourselves? (He calls each by name and waits for their reply.)
York: Let my people go!
Sacajawea: My first chance to vote and its the election of 2016?
Cruzatte: I didn't mean to shoot you Captain Lewis, I swear!
Charbonneau: I'm sorry I almost lost the white pirogue, but at least I married well!
Seaman Howls, etc.
Lewis: Wait, what’s that? I hear someone coming!
Tom, Roger, Mary Ellen, Greg march in carrying flag singing “I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy”
Lewis: Halt! who goes there? Who in the world are you?
Group: We’re the Corps of Discovery 2016! We’re following in the footsteps of Lewis and Clark!
Clark: But WE are Lewis and Clark. We were sent by President Jefferson himself on a sacred mission to find the northwest passage. We selected the most capable crew ever assembled, acquired supplies, tools, merchandise, vessels, lots of beads all to cross the continent and achieve our objective.
Tom: You?? Lewis and Clark? I highly doubt that. You don't look anything like the pictures. What do you guys think? (Turn around to ask other leaders. Turns to ask rest of the group. No?) groups murmurs no, doubtful, etc.)
Tom: Well, you’re gonna have to prove it to us.
Tom: (sarcastically) So, ahem, Mr. Lewis, I mean Captain Lewis, if you are Captain Lewis, so where did this grand journey begin?
Lewis: The entire country knows, we set out from St. Charles, Missouri.
Tom: AHA! That isn’t exactly true! The real Lewis would know they set out from Camp Dubois!
Greg: Let me try one. I know navigation. You sir, Mr. Clark, or Lt. Clark, oh I mean almost Captain Clark . How many miles have you traveled?
Clark: Why let me get my maps, my measurements, my surveyor's chain.
Greg: We don't have time for that. Sgt. Dave, front and center. Come up here show the man how its done. Report the mileage to this point.
get Dave’s sign on him as he comes up
Dave: I have my journal here, gives mileage
Tom: Well done Sgt. Dave! (gives beads, Dave return to his seat)
Roger: My turn, let me at em. I handle the logistics for our corps. If you are Capt. Lewis and you keep these meticulous journals tell me exactly how many times you have set up camp and broken it down?
Lewis: Well, I have to look at my journals, and I sent most of those journals back from Ft. Mandan on the keel boat, so I don't have all the data with me...
Roger: Well our corps knows: Sgt. Don? Don, front and center. Come up here and give the report. Just the facts this time, no poem.
get Don’s sign on him as he comes up
Don: (reports the on off numbers)
Tom" high fives Don, gives beads, Don returns to seat.
pomp runs to Newman and puts his name on and whispers into his ear tell him to say
Newman no, this is not the time! (angrily)
Pomp: but I really have to go now!!
Mary Ellen: OK listen y’all. This was supposed to be a scientific expedition ~ if this is the Corps of Discovery, what have you found?
Mary Ellen conversation with Sacajewea (laxatives).
Tom high five and give beads. then she sits down.
Lewis: But we ARE the corps! We followed the Missouri to its source! And this is something only I would know ~ I saw Pvt. McNeil bestride the mighty Missouri River!
Roger Harris: but I bestrode the mighty Columbia River!! (puts on his sign himself)
Tom: That’s right! I saw him do it (high fives all around and beads. Roger sits down
Pomp: Newman!! Are we there yet? I am wet and disagreeable.
Clark: Our Corps is so cohesive, we are like a family. In fact, we have two actual brothers, Joseph and Reuben Fields.
Barbara, Priscilla Doris and Esther (stand, put on their signs and say)
We are 2 sets of twin sisters. And everyone knows, two pairs of twins trumps one pair of brothers!
Lewis: We are the first to build relationships with the Native Americans. We entertained them, Cruzatte, play your violin!
Cruzatte (plays “O my Darlin Clementine …")
Roger: Well, that’s nothing! Our Gary is a world renowned pianist
Gary: (slaps on his sign and asks) can you play the Brandenburg concerto on that fiddle?
Greg: and we also have a flautist!
Laura: (slaps on her sign and BLOWS HORN!!)
Gary: O! The joy!
Tom: what color?
Mary Ellen: We have the experience of toughened voyaguers. Charbonneau here is a case in point.
Steve (stands, puts on his sign) I beg to differ!
Charbonneau Qu’est qui c’est? what do you mean?
Steve: on April 13th the wind was from the east. The square sail and the spirit sale were hoisted on the white pirogue. You were at the helm. A sudden squall rocked the boat. Instead of bringing the craft into the wind, you laid her broadside to it. (Sarcastically) where is the expertise?
Tom: That’s our Steve! (gives beads, Steve sits down)
Lewis: Let’s get back to the scientific nature of the expedition. I personally identified, drew and described countless numbers of birds.
Allan (slaps on his sign) But can you remember and replicate them? (plays his app)
Pomp (runs around looking) birdie! where’s the birdie?
Lewis: (passionately) Enough already! What is this one upsmanship? We ARE the real Lewis and Clark! In obedience to Jefferson’s orders, we penetrated the continent of North America to the Pacific Ocean and sufficiently explored the interior of the country to affirm with confidence that we have discovered the most practicable route which does exist across the continent by means of the navigable branches of the Missouri and Columbia rivers. We view this passage across the continent as affording immense advantages to the United States of America. How DARE you doubt us?
Tom: Well, what do you think Corps? They don't look like it, but no one expresses himself with such emotional content like Meriwether Lewis. Do you it think it could be him? Do you think this could really be the original Corps of Discovery?
Group: yes! yes!
Tom: So there’s only one thing to do. We proceed on. Let us follow in the footsteps of Lewis and Clark.
Don: But how far? How long will this take how many miles?
We don't know what the count will be, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
Carol: quiet my children. There is a song, we want you all to sing along.
tune of “We Love You Conrad”
We loved this
We love our Greg
We love our Roger
We love our Mary
We love our Tom
didn't make a video but I cobbled one together out of a few
Astoria to Portland Day 17